Need advice..........Please?

[trivette]

Need advice..........Please? I have been seeing "John" for 3 years now. I moved in with him last year with my two 15 and 8. John is alot older than me....he 55 me 37. I couldn't love anyone more in this world. He is so wonderful in so many ways. He is so damn sexy....athletic build, full head of dark hair, great arms.....We used to have sex...alot of great sex.....but now I'm lucky if I get it once a week. He says he just doesn't have the drive anymore. But see I DO! I have a very healthy sex drive and I want it and need it and can't have it without going "elsewhere". I don't know what to do I am going crazy........

[hussong]

Hey pumpkin I think you picked the wrong forum, we're all lesbians or bi or something...none of us date guys so much. Good luck with your family!

[shorey]

Buy him some viagra + stop bothering lesbians

[saber]

So sorry didn't mean to bother you

[dejean]

Do not pay them any attention ...this forum says . You can interpret it in any way you choose. The best advice I can offer is to talk to him. Not that I am an expert on hetrosexual couples, but communication is definately lacking in most relationships. To my fellow lesbians: The previous posts contribute to the reason that people think lesbians have a chip on their shoulder. Just because you are lesbian doesn't mean you are not a woman anymore. Advice is advice- we all share common relationship problems. Peace!

[hogg]

just because i'm a woman doesn't mean i want to spend my time giving advice to straight people with sex problems. let them ask each other for advice - encouraging them to come here just exacerbates the (already huge) heterocentric sense of entitlement most straight people are burdened with.

[bernita]

I respect your opinion but.... if you don't want to spend your time giving advice then don't reply to the post. Not trying to create a stir but we as lesbians try to fight for equality and some continue to want to seperate us. That puts us right back at the starting line. I just don't understand why we can't get along with everyone regardless of sexual orientation? Isn't that what WE are looking for?

[celesta]

i want this to stay queer space see silli's post below - she's very articulate. and i take issue with people trying to sell me stuff from the "we as lesbians" perspective. no one speaks for all lesbians (witness this here disagreement), and those who say they do are usually totally off base.

[fredell]

Not selling anything here I guess I just never understood why some people said how "some" lesbians can be man-haters and "hetrohaters." I never experienced it and I never was a part of it. It confused me a bit because I live my life just like anyone else except the fact that I share my life with a woman. I guess a small town girl such as myself is not accustomed to the big city lesbian mentality. I would never turn away someone who needed advice just because she was a hetrosexual. I give my straight friends advice all the time and vice-versa. I guess I just didn't understand why this person couldn't even be offered some advice. I am sorry you think I am off base but this is just my opinion. We don't see eye to eye, but I respect that we agree to disagree.

[rena]

I don't hate men, I don't hate straight women. Most of my friends are straight. But this forum isn't for straight people, they have many other options. This is a space where queer women can talk freely. Why is one space too much to ask for? Why is it wrong to ask straight people to respect that this space is for queer women and queer issues?

[crehan]

Thank you for enlightening me. I live in the south and there are so many issues I deal with already. Biased people and bigotry based on sexual orientation and race is a common issue here. I kind of felt offended when I read the *stop bothering lesbians* comment. Not too long ago here in the south a certain group of people were not allowed in certain places because of their skin color...the offending post just reminded me of such incident. (edited to be PC) But at the same time I digress, I must agree that sometimes I like to talk with people who have something in common with me. No matter what it is...from religion to sexual orientation. Just my take on things. Be well! FYI- I don't Neg people who don't agree with me....just for those of you who might be thinking I did.

[lindhorst]

No where did I mention that this reminded me of and I quote, "whites only restaurants and drinking fountains". Yes, I will correct you. You may wish to re-read my post. It has not been that long since Jim Crow laws were deemed unconstitutional. I was not referring to the Jim Crowe era,but in fact was speaking on present day events. I, in fact, was thinking about discrimination, bigotry and racism. More often than not, these three go hand in hand. The point I was making was people being discriminated against. I am not sure where you live but it still happens here. Maybe not legally, but there are known places any person of color should not be seen. Do I agree with it? Not by any means. Did hearing this woman being outed from a lesbian chat forum for being straight remind of the same kind of bigotry and racism....YES! Discrimination is discrimination no matter how you look at it. I have personally delt with all forms of discrimination from different angles, and I choose to speak up when I see it happening. I personally have to fight against discrimination for being a lesbian, why would I in turn be discrimatory to someone for being straight. And to the rest of the CL forum-you can Neg me to your little hearts content. Get it to x if you would like. Point is I still have my opinion and you have yours. I just don't Neg someone because they don't agree with me.

[mercer]

Well, add me to your list of discriminators I'm intolerant of simpletons.

[musch]

Thank you for saying this And to further expound on your point, I wish people would quit reaching for racism as a crutch to prop up their issues around how we are supposed to behave in the face of heterocentric privilege. If people really want to talk about racism, we can start with why "racism" always gets opportunistiy thrown about whenever the subject has nothing to do with race. Some net gxk out there should think up a version of Godwin's Law for it. Now that would be handy!

[Karleen]

I may be extrapolating incorrectly but what I'm getting from FemGirl is "Two wrongs don't make a right." I understand silli's comment about our tiny gay space, but I get a little uncomfortable with people wanting to create a "____"-only space. That's just me. I didn't like it about the Olympic Club in SF and I didn't like it about Mill's College in Oakland. I may be ignorant...well, honestly I know I am, but I know what I feel. And I usually find exclusivity divisive.

[yeung]

the op wasn't excluded she was informed that her post wasn't appropriate and advised to go somewhere else, as you (seemed to agree when you pointed out that you wouldn't a roofer if your toilet was backed up. the rest of this is all drama stirred up by FemGirl's address to her fellow lesbians: